Anxiety Archives

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WHY IS IT SO HARD TO JUST GET STARTED?

March 23, 2022

We’ve all had that feeling before…

The feeling of excitement and optimism you get when a new opportunity arises. Maybe you are taking on a new project at work that comes with a nice salary boost. Perhaps you finally enrolled in the gym across the street from work so you can go during your lunch break.

But why does it feel like the wheels start to fall off when you decide to change something in your life?

You can’t get started on your new project at work because your to-do list is a mile long. Now all of the extra work you need to do is cutting into your gym time (at least that’s the excuse you are going with).

You’ve felt like this before.

You are excited to start a new project, task, or goal, but for some reason, you just can’t seem to get started. You’re stuck and you don’t know why… you just know that starting something new has always felt like this.

Why is it so hard just to get started?

This is incredibly frustrating, especially when you feel like you should be able to “just get started.” You have all this ambition and motivation when you first come up with the idea, but eventually, that starts to fade. Maybe it’s analysis paralysis. Maybe it’s the underlying self-doubt moving beneath you like quicksand, and the harder you struggle, the more stuck you become.

It’s time to finally get started on that project or goal you’ve wanted to do for months (or even years!). Before you let another day go by, here’s how to find the motivation to just get started.

Let Go Of The Past

Reflect on your old story before you rewrite a new one. We like to get caught up in what we perceive as our “failures.” But it’s important to remember that these are just experiences – nothing more, nothing less.

What held you back in the past? Why did you give up on other projects or goals?

Just because you didn’t achieve something in the past doesn’t mean you’re incapable of achieving it now. More than likely, it’s the story you’ve written about your past that’s holding you back now, making you believe you are.

So, take a deep breath, accept your past for what it was, and make room for what is to come. It’s time for a fresh start.

Set A Deadline

If you’re struggling with motivation, it might help to set a deadline for yourself. A sense of urgency will help you dedicate yourself to what’s important.

Remember to start with the easy stuff. Frequently, we procrastinate because the task in front of us seems daunting. But if we break it down into smaller parts, it becomes a lot less scary. Focus on the things you know you can reasonably accomplish. This will help build your confidence and momentum.

Practice Visualization

To achieve anything, we must believe that it’s possible. So, practice being hopeful! Go one step further than that by imagining it was already true.

Close your eyes and visualize yourself completing the project or goal using all five senses. With visualization, you are training your subconscious to believe it’s possible. Therefore, the more you visualize it, the more likely it will happen because thought precedes action.

Find Your Inspiration

Find what inspires and motivates you, whether it’s a role model or an article/book/speech that resonates with you.

“As the saying goes, If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done,” said bonmente’s Teri Arana, LCSW. “Sometimes you need to step out of your comfort zone to find your motivation, especially when trying something new.”

When you’re feeling stuck, revisit this source of inspiration to help get yourself moving. Better yet, bring it to the foreground. Stick it to your wall, set it as your wallpaper – curate your life’s content around inspiration and motivation.

Reflect On Your Purpose

Even if you think you’re 100% sure of what motivates you, don’t take another step before re-evaluating your purpose.

Don’t be quick to dismiss this, either.

The possibility is always there that your values and interests have changed over time, but you haven’t acknowledged nor accepted them yet. Consider that the reason you’ve not been so quick to set yourself free is that this idea or habit – whatever it may be – isn’t what you want. And wouldn’t you rather know now?

Ask yourself the following questions:

What do I enjoy so much that I lose track of time when I do it?
What did I enjoy most in the past? What are my favorite things now?
What makes me happy?
What am I grateful for?

Ease Up On Yourself

The prospect of a new project or healthy habit can certainly make you feel stuck, but being hard on yourself will only ensure you stay that way.

It’s easier to get bogged down by our fears and doubts than it is to get started. Shift your focus away from the pressure you’ve put on yourself before you lose sight of this simple notion. Aim for progress over perfection, and you will begin to break free from the motivation quicksand and come out on top.

Get started on self-improvement with an appointment.

Telemedicine in Long Beach, CA

We can help you shake off those feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, stress, and anxiety so you can just get started this spring! Let’s talk about what’s holding you back or highjacking your focus. We’re here to help you find a renewed sense of clarity and focus so you can reach your goals then make new ones!

IS ‘RUDENESS’ A SYMPTOM OF ANXIETY?

February 15, 2022

Anxiety is a master of disguise. The butterflies in your stomach before a big date. The knot in your throat during that intense meeting. Even that pep in your step as you walk with nervous excitement into a party. And now, thanks to the pandemic, the ever-present freak-out thoughts go everywhere with us too.

Is everyone vaccinated? Wearing a mask? Symptom free? Honest about it?

Social situations were tough to navigate before the pandemic, especially for people with anxiety. How many times have you hugged the wall at a social gathering and avoided eye contact at all costs? Maybe you settled down enough to engage in a chat only to have to run away mid-conversation? Throw a mask on and so much for deep breaths to calm yourself!

It’s okay. You’re not rude; you’re just anxious.

Be kind to yourself and know this:

1. Everyone experiences anxiety.
2. Social anxiety is real and the pandemic hasn’t made it easier.
3. Your behaviors are likely coping mechanisms you’ve developed to manage anxiety.

Sure, avoiding people may give the impression of “being standoffish” or “stuck up,” but the reality is people with anxiety find communication and socialization almost paralyzing at times. To cope with anxiety, someone might cut a conversation short, avoid eye contact, or even fail to find words to carry on a conversation.

Anxiety can crush good manners.

When you live with anxiety, you’re all too familiar with the feeling of always being on edge. You might feel like you can’t relax. Every interaction is a potential minefield and you’re always one wrong move away from complete disaster. This can lead to some behaviors that others might see as rude or impolite, even for those who have the best manners and intentions.

As we’ve said many times before, mental health can be messy and complicated. By being open about what’s really going on, we can build more honest relationships and foster better understanding.

Rude or Anxious? Canceling plans to stay home

One of the most common things people with anxiety do that can come across as rude is canceling plans. You might feel comfortable socializing with one person, but plans involving more than that can cause your comfort levels to plummet and your anxiety to skyrocket. You may even cancel at the last minute because you don’t feel like you can handle being around other people. Anxiety is powerful… but so is honesty.

If you’re working on developing better anxiety management skills and are finding you’re canceling plans more than keeping them, let the host know from the beginning. Something like, “I’m looking forward to spending time with you, but if I have to cancel, please know I don’t mean to be rude. I’m working on managing my anxiety, but sometimes it gets so bad I can’t keep commitments.” Being honest takes away the uncertainty that could otherwise inform someone’s perspective of your behavior.

Rude or Anxious? Forgetting to reply

You don’t mean to “ghost” people, but you forget to reply… way too much. It’s usually because you’re so consumed with your thoughts that the outside world falls totally off your radar. You might be worried about an upcoming meeting at work or overthinking a fight you had with your partner, and next thing you know, it’s been two weeks and you get a “wtf” text.

Not replying to someone’s text or email can come across as being rude, but anxiety makes it easy to lose track of time or get so caught up in thought that you never respond. If “ghosting” has become a problem for you, try to identify a communication method that works best for you. Maybe texts get lost in the abyss but leaving emails “unread” helps remind you to respond. Maybe phone calls are a powerful enough interruption to snatch you from your own thoughts. Maybe you need to allocate 10 minutes each day to give some attention to replying – set an alarm, start the timer, and take care of what you can in that time.

Rude or Anxious? Leaving events early

Social anxiety can make you think about leaving before you even arrive. It doesn’t matter if it’s your grandma’s small get-together or the annual office holiday party, you might feel so overwhelmed and anxious that leaving is the only way to avoid a full-blown panic attack.

In some cases, you’ve stressed so much about the event beforehand that you’re too exhausted or too nervous to try when the moment arrives,” said bonmente’s Lorena Hernandez, LCSW. “Leaving is literally the easiest way out, but it’s not the best.”

Think about why you do the dip. Does the small talk wear you out? Is it just too hard to pay attention? Is the pressure to “perform” exhausting? Do you feel like all eyes aarre on you and being extra judgy? Figuring out why you’ve gotta get outta there is the first step in finding a way to stay.

If you just can’t muster the mingle, give your early departure some grace and avoid the Irish goodbye.No need to make a big scene as you head out, but a quick text letting the host know you had to go takes away any tinge of rude that your absence may leave behind.

Rude or Anxious? Avoiding eye contact

Looking at another person directly in the eyes can be extremely unsettling for someone with anxiety. It can feel like full blown scrutiny or powerful judgment. Not to mention if someone is looking in your eyes, they can probably see your anxiety all over your face!

Eye contact has long been interpreted as a sign of interest or respect, which is why a lack of it can be considered rude. If eye contact turns you into stone, turn it into a game. Try quick glances at someone’s eyes while chatting and then look away. Or make your target their eyebrows or the top of their nose instead of the eyes. Or put attention on a different focus in the room, like a light fixture or a painting… or that really great TikTok you saw earlier today.

Rude or Anxious? Zoning out of conversations

To the person talking, zoning out can come across as a lack of regard for what they’re saying. We all know how active listening makes us feel heard, but anxiety can turn active listening into a preoccupation that discombobulates your attention. You spend all the time you should be listening worrying about what to say, then worrying that you may say something dumb. And if you manage to actually spit some words out, your brain immediately starts replaying the whole exchange, and you get so wrapped up in the cycle of fret that it’s impossible not to zone out.

But zoning out isn’t a act of rudeness as much as it is a coping mechanism. By zoning out, you decrease stimulation and try to give your overwhelmed brain a break. If you get caught zoned out, just tune back in with a “Oh gosh, I lost my train of thought there. What did you just say?” Sometimes zoning out can be a symptom of ADHD, so if it’s happening all the time, consider a professional evaluation.

Less Stigma, More Support!

Every day can be a balancing act for someone with anxiety. You’re always trying to do what’s best for yourself while also considering how your condition might affect others. The truth is your discomfort or desire to be at home alone has nothing to do with your kindness and good intentions.

Mental health issues like anxiety can make you want to run and hide, to keep your emotions to yourself. But you deserve to overcome anxiety and thrive. If you or someone you love is looking for anxiety treatment in Long Beach, CA, our team is on the line waiting to talk with you. It all starts with a phone call – make it today!

ADHD IS NOT JUST FOR KIDS

December 28, 2021

Why is it so hard to sit still during a meeting yet so easy to zone out? You misplaced your car keys three times last week. Your desk is a mess. It’s hard to remember the last time you were ‘on time’ for something. Most days it feels like you just can’t get it together.

Sound familiar?

You aren’t a hot mess, rude, lazy, uninterested, or inconsiderate. Ignore these unfair labels and let’s talk about what actually might be going on; you might have ADHD. All of these occurrences could actually be symptoms of ADHD so don’t beat yourself up! You don’t deserve that because it’s not you; it’s your brain and you are not alone! An estimated 10 million adults have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Unfortunately, less than 20 percent of them have been properly diagnosed, which complicates things.

ADHD Is Not Just For Kids

ADHD is often thought of as a childhood disorder because it is more common in children. If you think about it, it’s much easier for the concerned teacher to write a note about the fidgety, restless child in her classroom than it is for your boss to recognize your struggles.

And guess what?

All of those fidgety, restless children grow into adults with jobs, careers, and relationships that can get complicated when the symptoms are left untreated. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that often goes unnoticed in adults yet can significantly impact all areas of life.

Symptoms of Untreated ADHD Include

restlessness or hyperactivity – demonstrated through talking or fidgeting excessively
impulsivity – acting without thinking of long-term consequences
inattention – difficulty staying focused

If you have ADHD, you may also:

misplace your things
lose your temper quickly
miss deadlines
struggle to follow instructions
feel scattered and struggle to stay organized
interrupt others who are talking

Awareness of the symptoms can help, but only to a certain extent. Those struggling to recognize ADHD signs can better understand whether they may have it by knowing some risks of untreated ADHD. Like other disorders, ADHD can manifest in various ways and spill over into all areas of your life. Here are a few risk factors of untreated ADHD worth mentioning…

Anxiety and Depression

Adults with ADHD are more likely to experience major psychological distress like severe anxiety and depression. Several things can ultimately trigger these feelings or lead to the development of these disorders. Low self-esteem, mood changes, and regular feelings of overwhelm can all play a part.

Difficulty Managing Stress

It’s easy for adults with ADHD to feel so overwhelmed about everything they must do that they resort to quitting to avoid the pressure. However, even those who are relatively organized or know where to start can still find it challenging to stick with the task because their minds may constantly wander.

Disorganization and Distraction

Adults with ADHD may find themselves working on various projects at once or procrastinating. Sometimes they inadvertently tune out important information, having trouble staying focused when communicating with others, such as their boss.

“Someone with ADHD may fail to meet deadlines because they are distracted by other things or lose track of time,” said Vides Apresto, a mental health nurse practitioner at bonmente. “If behaviors and symptoms go unaddressed, it can lead to serious consequences, including termination. That said, it is common for adults with ADHD to leave their workplace, as they may change jobs frequently due to their job dissatisfaction and overwhelming stress.”

Difficulty With Relationships

Because adults with ADHD tend to be easily distracted, it can also be hard to connect with others and maintain healthy relationships. Furthermore, spouses of individuals with ADHD typically feel more neglected and undervalued than spouses of those without the condition.

ADHD Screening at bonmente

We’re here to help get you some answers. ADHD is complicated – especially for adults! Getting the right diagnosis is important for getting the right treatment. Even though there is no definitive test for ADHD, with a thorough screening and professional consultation, bonmente’s qualified providers can help get you the correct diagnosis, so you can get the correct treatment.

Reach out to our Long Beach, CA-based psychiatry team today to book your $100 ADHD screening so you can step into the new year with clarity, focus, and a renewed wellness.

MILE-HIGH MELTDOWNS…WHAT?

November 23, 2021

Really, what’s the deal?

The holidays are here! For many, that means it’s time to Fa-La-La-La- FLY, which beats driving any day, right? You sit back, have a snack, watch a movie, or take a nap until you arrive. You already know there will be a crying baby, a child kicking your seat back, and someone with their shoes off (or some lovely combination of the three).

You are mentally prepared because you’ve been on a flight before. But now, there’s something new popping up on flights and in airports across the globe that no one is prepared for…it’s called “air rage.”

Perhaps a variant of road rage, except instead of blaring horns, people are throwing punches. These mile-high meltdowns are happening more frequently and sweeping headlines. The Federal Aviation Administration reported 5,420 unruly passenger incidents and 3,798 mask-related reports to date.

So, the question is, why is there so much increased aggression in the air?

Travel isn’t really any more infuriating than it’s always been, but it seems like people’s tolerance of inconvenience or willingness to follow simple rules is totally gone. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what snaps these people, but since it’s becoming more of a norm and holiday travel is here, it’s worth knowing how to protect your sanity when people lose theirs around you. Here are some tips on how to keep your cool and help defuse a violent or hostile situation.

Lead By Example

You know the rules; put your seat in the upright position, wear your mask, buckle your seat belt, no smoking, etc. Following the rules creates a non-disruptive environment and helps set the mood. When you are compliant and use manners with the crew, you can set an example of how people on the plan should be treated.

Speak Up And Offer Help

Words matter and speaking up when a passenger’s mood is escalating (especially if they’re drinking) can help defuse a station before it gets out of control. You could alert a flight attendant or simply say, “Hey, you’re upset; how can I help out?” If the situation resorts to another level and you feel comfortable doing so, offer help to the crew either by restraining the passenger or simply changing seats. If a passenger is getting violent or threatening toward or near you, remove yourself from the situation early… physical safety is of utmost importance! They may have no justification to target you, but if you getting out of their sight makes them relax, then remove yourself. It’s an easy fix.

Mind Your Beeswax

Remember that not every situation needs your involvement or documentary videographer skills. People in a mental health crisis aren’t necessarily aware of their behavior and don’t deserve to be the next TikTok joke. We encourage practicing compassionate awareness both in-flight and in life.

“These stories of air rage are just one example of how people are experiencing increased irritability which is often a sign of something more than just a bad flight,” said Alicia Bulin, a nurse practitioner at bonmente. “As you gather with family and friends this holiday season, tune into signs of increased irritability and start the conversation about mental wellness.”

Let’s Decrease Irritability

Maybe you haven’t hit airport freakout mode yet, but you have noticed you feel more on-edge lately. The little things are starting to add up in big ways and you feel triggered and agitated almost every day. Increased irritability is commonly a sign of depression, and it deserves some exploration. Don’t self-diagnose yourself or someone you love. Pick up the phone and book your convenient Telepsychiatry appointment today, and we’ll get to the bottom of things together.

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH BRAIN FOG?

August 30, 2021

How To Clear The Cobwebs

“What was I saying again?

Brain fog is all of those times you lost your train of thought or forgot about an appointment. It’s feeling spacy, groggy, forgetful…just not like your usual self. Brain fog can zap your motivation and creativity as the cobwebs continue to build up. You know that the lights are on upstairs, but it feels like no one is home most days.

What gives?!

Of course, living through a global pandemic does not help matters. At this point, the days seem to all blend together, and time feels like it’s waxing and waning. How are we almost three months away from 2022 already, yet it feels like we are still processing 2020?!

Even though brain fog is not a scientific term or proper medical diagnosis, it’s a nuisance and can impact how you feel. The good news is you can shake the cobwebs and emerge in clarity and better focus with these helpful tips.

Step 1: Slow Down!

The first thing to do if you are experiencing brain fog is to slow down. When you are feeling overwhelmed in any way, it’s best to take a step back and regroup.

Think about driving down the highway during a bad storm,” said Sarah Raike, PA-C, a mental health provider with bonmente. “In the middle of a downpour, it’s better to pull over and let things slow down instead of pushing forward when you can’t even see the road ahead.”

Step 2: Check on Your Physical Wellness

Be sure you are getting proper sleep, nutrition, and hydration. Rinse, wash, and repeat! Poor diet and sleep habits can contribute to several health problems physically and mentally. The good news is there are actual ‘brain foods’ that can help keep your mind sharp. For example, the omega-3 fatty acids in fish keep your brain in top shape. If you have a sugar craving, reach for dark chocolate to help cut back on sugar which can spike your blood sugar and impact your mood.

Step 3: Stop Multitasking

On paper, multitasking sounds like a great way to get a lot of things done. In reality, multitasking often decreases productivity. If you are feeling overwhelmed and distracted, go back to step 1 and slow down! Once you are calm and some of the fog has lifted, break your bigger goal into small, more manageable tasks that you can complete. This approach will help boost your confidence and sense of accomplishment.

Step 4: Put A Focus on Brain Health

Sometimes, brain fog is just a matter of shaking off the cobwebs and starting over. Other times, it’s a sign of something more. These days, it seems like we all experience brain fog from time to time. However, if you are having trouble focusing or completing tasks, it might be time for an evaluation. Adults with ADHD may have been undiagnosed when younger, only having symptoms later in life when something changed (i.e., going off to college, getting married, having children, etc.)

Adult ADHD patients also frequently have anxiety, depression, or other issues that may or may not be related. If symptoms persist, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Our team is here to walk with you.

BACK TO SCHOOL! OR IS IT THE PETRI DISH?

July 20, 2021

Remember the thrill of putting the kids back on the bus after their long summer vacation and then going home to listen to … SILENCE? The good old days of 2019, when the most stressful part of going back to school was sourcing the unruled notebook paper on the school supplies list?

Like pretty much everything else, COVID-19 took the thrill and carefree joy out of back to school and replaced it with a mountain of stress, worry, uncertainty, and anxiety. The 2021 back to school season makes the stress we had in the pre-pandemic days seem like recess. Schools in California are set to return to in-person classes next month, just as the Delta variant has started teaching us a lesson. As the buses start to roll out and collect our innocent little kids, many of whom are too young for vaccinations, how are we supposed to balance our natural concern and stress with the importance of putting knowledge in those spongy minds?

We’ve learned a lot about COVID-19, but so many questions remain.

What will the classroom look like?
Will everyone wear a mask?
How good are these kids at catching their coughs and washing their hands?
What if my child isn’t vaccinated yet?
Shouldn’t we just continue online for a little while longer?

All of these are valid questions and concerns. Though there is a great deal of anxiety around back to school and COVID-19, there are things you can do to protect yourself and your family. Namely, get vaccinated. The CDC recommends that everyone 12 years and older get a COVID-19 vaccination to help protect against COVID-19.

But what about our elementary-aged kiddos? What about our preschoolers? As of now, no COVID vaccines have been approved for this age group, and they’re the ones who need a lot of care, guidance, and gentle reminders to practice hygiene when it’s just a regular old “cold season.”

Schools are working hard to come up with solutions to keep our kids and their employees safe, but this is a new curriculum and we’re not sure what the real test is going to be yet. As parents, friends, employees, and healthcare professionals, we’re in this with you, wondering how this is going to work and how we are supposed to keep ourselves and our loved ones healthy – physically AND mentally.

So here are a few things to remember as we navigate back to school season.

Teachers Are Smart

In creating a plan to reopen schools, California has done its homework. A lot of really intelligent people, many of whom have school-aged children, have come to the table to provide insight and contribute to the plan. The CDC, the California Department of Public Health, California Division of Occupational Safety and Health, teachers, child care providers, superintendents, educators, parents, and students weighed in to provide reopening guidance that addresses worries across the spectrum.

Learning Is Important

Thanks to scientific research about COVID-19 and the development of vaccines, infection rates are down. We have learned a lot about testing, treating and preventing the spread of COVID-19 in the past 18 months, and that knowledge is going to better prepare us as we head back to school or work. We’ve learned that masks and social distancing not only provided protection from COVID-19, but also from other nasty bugs like the flu. We’ve learned that it’s more important to stay home when you’re feeling sick than to force yourself to go in to work. There is no doubt that we’ve got a lot of learning still to do, but we have knowledge, and knowledge gives us at least some power to protect ourselves.

Kids Need To Go To School

Research has shown that the social isolation of quarantine and anxiety of the pandemic has increased depression and anxiety among children around the world, particularly in middle and high schoolers.

For young people, missing significant life events and rites of passage, whether it’s birthday parties or prom, takes a psychological toll,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente.

“For young people, missing significant life events and rites of passage, whether it’s birthday parties or prom, takes a psychological toll,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Though we won’t entirely realize the mental health effects of COVID-19 for years to come, we know that kids have been having worrisome mood disturbances that come from quarantine-related isolation. They need their friends back.”

And they need their teachers back. If you’ve been a “home educator” for the past 18 months, you have probably (and understandably) let Fortnight, TikTok, or Roblox be a substitute teacher at least a few times. In-person learning is infinitely better for a child’s brain development than the most stimulating TikTok ever created.

COVID-19 is declining. But mental health issues are on the rise.

Even with the Delta variant setback, we have made huge strides in fighting COVID-19. But it’s possible that our next pandemic will be one of mental health proportions. A study at the University of Oxford found that one in three people infected with COVID experienced some type of mental health issue within six months of infection. For those who have been diligently resisting exposure, the isolation, fear, fatigue, stress, and anxiety have also threatened mental wellness.

So, How Do You Feel?

Almost everyone is experiencing a little burnout these days, and back-to-school is just the point on the pencil. The best protection you have against COVID-19 is a vaccination, a mask, and social distancing, but the best protection you have against COVID-19 triggered mental health issues is early intervention.

“The sooner a person gets help for psychiatric symptoms, the sooner they can get better,” said Alicia Bulin, a psychiatric nurse practitioner at bonmente. “The most common mental health complaints – anxiety and depression – can be the most crippling to your day-to-day life, and those are the ones on the rise as a direct result of the pandemic. If you’re not feeling like yourself, there is help.”

To make getting help as easy as possible, bonmente offers access to excellent care that is literally at your fingertips thanks to our innovative telepsychiatry interface. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.

UH OH. REGULAR LIFE FEELS SO STRANGE!

June 24, 2021

California has officially reopened! Those days we’ve been dreaming of, free breathing the air and carefree contact with friends and family, they’re finally here. We’re back to normal!

But why does it feel so…. weird?

Why does having your whole face exposed feel so awkward? Why does returning to normal have to come with this new sensation of “mask”xiety?

Remember back in the pre-Covid times when the most universally socially awkward thing we shared was what to do with our hands? Well, that’s back, and with it is this new worry: what do we do with our masks?

Wear it so people don’t think you’re some kind of selfish jerk?
Wear it because your kids haven’t been vaccinated yet and you want to keep them safe?
Keep it at the ready as a chin strap or an ear accessory until you read the room?
Ditch it and walk full-faced and proud into alllll the stores?

According to the CDC, “Fully vaccinated people can resume activities without wearing a mask or physically distancing, except where required by federal, state, local, tribal, or territorial laws, rules, and regulations, including local business and workplace guidance.”

So, we have permission and the blessing of science to enjoy the liberation of vaccination. But we still have a responsibility to follow the rules of local businesses and our workplace. These are tricky and stressful social situations to navigate, and we are very out of practice since we’ve been hanging out at home for over a year.

Awkward Moments Are ‘The New Normal’

One of our staff members shared a story with us about riding an elevator that was so relatable. When the elevator doors opened, she noticed the gentleman riding the elevator had his mask on, which left her scrambling through her bag searching for her mask.

She’s fully vaccinated and following CDC guidelines yet was still in a panic as she tried to find her mask as a courtesy. Where’s the guidebook on re-entry, CDC? Did anyone get a copy of the Post-Pandemic Manners Manual?

Guess what? No manual. We’re all flying blind.

So, let’s find the funny.

We’re all out of practice with interacting with strangers. Our personal space has grown at least 6 times bigger than it used to be. We’re all relearning how to put makeup on the lower half of our faces, how to manage facial hair that used to be under cover, and how to smile as a gesture. We’re all bumbling through handshake/fist bump blunders.

We are all feeling stressed and awkward with our newly returned freedom to exist in the world. We are all figuring this out, day by day, interaction by interaction. So let’s be patient with one another and find the funny in it.

We made it! This is what we wanted, what we worked for. Let’s get our high fives tuned up and get them out of retirement.

Let’s be kind.

People are going to respond differently to re-opening, and just as we didn’t know their personal situations during the pandemic, we still don’t know them now.

Maybe they have a parent getting chemo and still have to be extra cautious. Maybe they have kids at home who aren’t eligible for vaccination yet. Maybe they can’t get vaccinated because of an allergy or other health problem. Maybe they’re terrified of vaccination and haven’t worked through that.

Some people may not be ready to unmask, for a variety of reasons, and that’s okay. Wearing a mask is absolutely not going to hurt anyone.

So, be kind if your friend wants to wear a mask at group gatherings that are outside. Show compassion if your family members opt out of gatherings and events for a while. A little understanding will go a long way in this awkward recovery.

We’ve all had a tough year, physically and emotionally,” said Jordan Blaine, a psychiatric nurse practitioner with bonmente. “The CDC has given a green light to vaccinated people, but how fast we jump back into society is a personal choice. Do what feels right, safe, and good for you.

Let’s be real. And get help when we need it.

Anxiety and depression have exploded during the pandemic. Even though “getting back to normal” sounds amazing, it may be as psychologically debilitating as Covid-19. If re-entering society has your skin crawling, you could need some extra help from the pros at bonmente.

“The past year was full of trauma, uncertainty, and fear,” said Kayleigh Soto, a therapist at bonmente. “We have spent the past year alone or in small groups and now we’re expected to co-exist with others and be excited about it. It’s easy to see how reopening could trigger anxiety, but with the right treatment, you can get to the joy of it.”

There is no right or wrong way to handle re-entry, but it’s essential to go at your own pace and view challenges as opportunities to build resilience. If you need a little help with that, give bonmente a call.

bonmente offers comprehensive treatments and guidance to manage anxiety, depression, and all other mental health issues. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.

WHEN DOES ANXIETY BECOME A DISORDER?

June 7, 2021

Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. A little bit of worry is part of life. You might find yourself worrying about normal life stressors related to your career, finances, or relationships. These stressors can serve a useful purpose at times by motivating you to be productive or reach a specific goal.

**But the problem starts when these worries consume you.**

Most people can overcome these thoughts and move on. Unfortunately, for someone with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), the worrying grows out of control. Your intrusive thoughts take hold and prevent you from living life. Most days, you feel worried about things even when you can’t exactly identify a single underlying cause.

When these persistent and pervasive thoughts linger and disrupt your daily life, it’s a sign that you might be experiencing something more than a little bit of worry.

For someone suffering from Generalized Anxiety Disorder, it’s not about sudden feelings of panic and being overwhelmed,” said Dr. Mottsin Thomas of bonmente. “It’s more about the lingering feelings that make it hard to concentrate and function each day.”

Common Signs of Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Everyone has different triggers that cause stress. Bouts of situational stress can arise from meeting deadlines at work to facing a significant life change like the death of a loved one. Your personal stress level will differ based on your personality and response.

If you feel increasing worry, intrusive thoughts, and lingering uncertainty, watch out for these common signs that anxiety might be taking over your life.

Upset stomach
Increased agitation or irritability
Difficulty concentrating
Fatigue
Headaches
Depression
Sleep problems

How To Break Free From Worry

Generalized anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental illnesses in the nation. Nearly one-third of adults in the U.S. experience complex cases of consuming anxiety at some point in their life. Unfortunately, anxiety is often accompanied by depression, creating a vicious cycle of dangerous thought loops that fuel each other. With treatment at bonmente, though, you can take control of anxiety and unburden yourself of constant worry.

1. Take a timeout.

When anxiety grabs ahold of you, it can feel impossible to shove it off. But often that’s exactly what you need to do to get through the intensity. Put yourself in timeout and do something to slow your mind. Stretch your body out, listen to music, or try a meditation app to get some space between you and the source of your anxiety. You’ll likely find that when you come back to it, it doesn’t have as tight a grip as it initially did.

2. Remember to breathe.

You can get your body to relax with something as simple and available as breathing. Yes, this thing you do without any thought is an amazing tool for managing anxiety. You can try alternate nostril breathing, where you breathe in and out of one nostril while holding the other closed. The 4-7-8 breathing technique is also effective. To do the 4-7-8 technique you’ll part your lips and make a “whoosh” sound as you exhale completely. Then you close your lips and inhale silently as you count to four in your head. Hold that breath for seven seconds. And finally, exhale with the “whoosh” for a count of eight. Do this for four breaths, holding your tongue against the roof of your mouth through the whole process, and you should feel more relaxed.

3. Turn fears into curiosity.

Studying your anxiety is probably the last thing you want to do, but it can be helpful. Look at it like you’re a detective and try to identify what may be triggering anxiety for you. Maybe it’s work-related, perhaps it’s relationship-based? Discovering sources could allow you to better prepare and manage anxiety when the trigger is introduced. Journaling is great in helping to identify triggers, as it gives you a task to focus on when you feel out of control and ends up giving you a lot of data relating to your anxiety.

Everyone’s anxiety is different.

Since we all experience anxiety differently, it’s essential to create a treatment plan designed to work for YOU. With treatment at bonmente, you can take control of anxiety and unburden yourself of constant worry. Reach out to today for personalized support.

THOUGHT LOOPS: BREAK THE CYCLE

October 14, 2020

It’s a perfectly normal day. You’re driving to work or to dropping the kids at school, maybe even going to the gym. Nothing is particularly bothersome.

And then your brain, being the busy body that it is, decides to plant a seed.

Something like, “what if the brakes failed right now?” Or perhaps something less catastrophic and more critical like, “why am I such a loser that I can’t even be on time?” Maybe it just sends up a flare that ignites the “oh gosh, I have a deadline in 3 days” worry.

Once it grabs your attention, that negative thought takes hold of your whole thought process, maybe even changes your whole mood. It can trigger anxiety, affect sleep, impact relationships, and sap your productivity. It’s a ride no one wants to be on.

So, how do you break the cycle?

“Understanding why you get stuck in these loops is the first step to getting out of them,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Thought loops are your brain’s way of trying to get to an egosyntonic state, meaning your mind is trying to confirm deep-seated beliefs, fears, or insecurities that you have — even if they’re unfounded.”

Understanding why you get stuck in these loops is the first step to getting out of them.

By giving the intrusive thought attention, you are trying to work through it. But that’s the trap. What you really do is solidify the loop.

Here are some tips for breaking the loop.

1. Come back to the present.

When your mind takes off on its own imaginary journey, reign it in by deliberately focusing on the moment. What sounds are you hearing? What smells do you notice? What does that license plate in front of you look like? Is there wind? How would you describe the shirt you are wearing right now? Put your attention anywhere else, and the most readily available, innocuous place is typically the minute you’re in.

2. Be curious about the thought.

When an intrusive thought loop hijacks your focus, the natural inclination is to provide a counter to the unwanted suggestion, or a strategy to manage it, even if it is unlikely or untrue. Say you’re getting ready for a social outing and you brain sneaks in with, “I bet you’re going to say something stupid to embarrass yourself.”
Your next thought will most likely be about some strategy to avoid embarrassing yourself. If you want to avoid the thought loop, make the next thing you ponder the thought itself.

Is the thought serving you?
Is it harming you?
What’s the purpose of the thought?
Is it true? Absolutely true?
Who would you be without the thought?
How would you feel without the thought?

3. Prepare for the next one.

According to a study published in the journal Science, nearly half of our waking lives are spent thinking about something other than what we’re doing. Every time our mind wanders, it gives intrusive negative thoughts an opportunity. Expect it to happen again and again, and make a plan to deal with it when it does. Refine your approach as you learn what works for you and what doesn’t.

If thought loops are out of your control, remember there is help.

The best way to break intrusive thought loops is through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which teaches you to identify core beliefs that trigger these types of automatic thoughts. By challenging those core beliefs with professional guidance, you learn to manage the intrusiveness and decrease the distress the thoughts cause.

bonmente can help you break the cycle of negative thought loops and keep anxiety from spiraling. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.

FINDING BALANCE WITH BOUNDARIES

September 22, 2020

Working from home seemed like such a gift in the spring. Tossing in loads of laundry throughout the day and taking breaks to have lunch with the kids or walk the dog were welcome escapes from the computer grind.

But did having your computer at the kitchen table or in your bed make work a bigger part of your life than you intended? Are you taking calls at 8pm and checking emails one last time before you go to sleep?

You got addicted. Lots of us did.

Finding work-life balance was hard enough when you had hours during which you were physically removed from the office. Now that it’s all under one roof, that balance is totally out of whack. So, how do you get back in balance?

Boundaries.

Setting boundaries may feel like you’re being insubordinate, but boundaries are as important in work relationships as in personal ones.”

“Setting boundaries may feel like you’re being insubordinate, but boundaries are as important in work relationships as in personal ones,” said Mottsin Thomas, MD, a psychiatrist at bonmente. “Boundaries take the burden of saying no off of you. By establishing a limit, you teach you colleagues how to treat you and what they can expect from you. You also make yourself and your health a priority, which will likely improve your performance in the long run.”

Work can be a subtle creep on your mental health, but it can have dramatic consequences. In an effort to unwind, you may find you’re drinking too much or too often. Poor sleep can negatively affect your mood as much as your productivity. And that unrelenting stress, well, that can lead to anxiety and depression and cause relationships to suffer.

Setting boundaries doesn’t have to be difficult. It simply requires some self reflection and some self respect. Here are some tips to help you get back into balance.

1. Rank your priorities.

It helps to know where to draw the line if you know what your line is. For instance, if a Wednesday night pizza party with your family is the thing that brings you joy each week, don’t let a Friday project deadline steal it from you. If a morning workout is what keeps you sane, RSVP “Unable to Attend” to that 7:30am Zoom meeting. Think about your life and what is most important to you. Figure out where work is on that hierarchy. Knowing what your priorities are will help you draw the boundaries for your life.

2. Create structure.

Creating structure in your day will help you better manage your time and be able to accomplish all that you need to accomplish. If you have a meeting, designate a time frame for it, make an agenda, and stick to it. If you notice a lot of your productivity is interrupted by instant messages or texts, consider scheduling a weekly or daily “check-in” with the source of the distraction. By formalizing a meeting, you’ll bring structure to your interactions as opposed to responding to whims. If you’re working from home, create a structure to limit your hours. Work those hours and then “clock out” — don’t check or reply to emails or texts and resist the urge to work on projects.

3. Say “No.”

You don’t want to risk opportunities for growth, or your job, by saying no to everything, but boundary setting means saying no sometimes. If a work task tries to hijack a life priority, say no. Give yourself permission to say no, and allow a compromise to evolve out of it. Say “no” strategically. For instance, if you’re taking on too much because of guilt or a sense of obligation, talk to your employer about how assuming responsibility for this latest thing could be detrimental to the projects you’re already working on. Make suggestions for other ways it could be done that don’t make it your exclusive burden. Say “no” at home too. If you don’t want to do something — a play date, watching your grandkids, helping your friend fix his car — say “no.” It’s not a dirty word and you’re not rude if you say it.

4. Unplug.

Unplug all the things that beckon you to work or blur the line between work and life. If television during your work time is affecting your productivity, unplug it. If your cell phone in the evening is interfering with dinner with your family, turn it off. Turning off notifications — all the subtle bells, dings, and whooshes that our devices whisper to seduce us back to them — will ultimately feel like taking off a leash. Don’t worry, the text will be there when you pick up your phone again, as will the Instagram stories and Twitter insults and the news headlines and the funny videos of that screaming bird. Shifting your focus from technology to the world around you, efforts known as “digital detox” or “dopamine fasting,” is suspected to have positive effects on anxiety, mood, and overall happiness. If you’re working from home, unplug on the weekends and allow yourself to decompress.

Boundaries show you care about yourself… and your performance.”

“No one is creative when they’re exhausted, no one is efficient when they’re feeling pressured, no one comes up with clever solutions when they’re distracted by a million other things,” said Dr. Thomas, who said work-life balance is a prominent issue for many of his patients. “Boundaries show you care about yourself, and by caring about yourself, you’re actually showing that you care about your performance and your career.”

bonmente can help you discover the value of boundaries and how to get life back in balance. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.