Some things

​to think about


We’re all tired.

Many Americans are downright exhausted. More than half of the respondents in one survey (55%) said no amount of rest helps them feel focused. But trouble concentrating is only one side effect of fatigue, and not all fatigue is created equal.

“It’s important to remember that 

fatigue isn’t always associated with lack of sleep,” 

said Vides Apresto, PMHNP at bonmente

“There are three different types that often go unspoken, though they are just as debilitating.”

Helper Fatigue

Helper fatigue is when you pour your energy and effort into helping others at the expense of your well-being. It’s when you’re always the one picking up the slack, offering a shoulder to cry on, or lending a listening ear. Other natural helpers include those who regularly volunteer or help out friends and family in need.

While helping others can be an enriching experience, doing so at the expense of your own needs is not sustainable in the long run. It can lead to one feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and even resentful. By taking care of themselves, helpers can ensure they have the energy and resources needed to continue supporting others.

One way to prevent helper fatigue is to set boundaries and say no to requests that put your needs on the back burner.

If you’re suffering from helper fatigue and feeling drained, don’t be afraid to put yourself first for once. Your loved ones will understand.

Anxiety Fatigue

While everyone experiences anxiety differently, those who suffer from anxiety fatigue often find that stressful situations exacerbate their symptoms. As a result, it can become difficult to manage day-to-day tasks, and even simple tasks can feel insurmountable.

For many people, anxiety fatigue is a chronic condition that requires ongoing management and treatment through therapy and relaxation techniques. If you’re struggling with anxiety fatigue, consider consulting a therapist who can work with you to identify your anxiety’s root cause and develop a treatment plan to help you regain control of your life.

Empathy Fatigue

As the ability to understand and share the feelings of another, empathy is a key part of emotional intelligence that helps us build strong relationships.

However, empathy can also lead to mental or emotional fatigue from caring for those experiencing difficult life circumstances. Often described as feeling “drained” or “burnt out,” empathy fatigue can manifest as physical exhaustion, anxiety, depression, irritability, and difficulty concentrating.

Empathy fatigue can happen to anyone constantly exposed to the pain and suffering of others, such as healthcare workers, first responders, social workers, or even friends and family members.

Empathy fatigue can also result from indirect exposure to traumatic events such as natural disasters or mass shootings by watching or hearing about them. Those who struggle to find a balance between observing the news and absorbing it are typically more at risk of becoming overwhelmed by the difficult life events of others. For this reason, empathy fatigue has become a major concern through our nation’s COVID-19 pandemic.

Empathy is a powerful emotion, so knowing your limits is important. The good news is there are steps to take to overcome empathy fatigue. These can include establishing boundaries, practicing self-care, seeking professional help, and staying connected to supportive people in your life.

Let's Fight Fatigue Together

While not all types of fatigue are created equal, they matter just the same. Though each is unique, these three fatigue types all share one common theme: a state of being overwhelmed and stressed. By understanding these different types of fatigue and what causes them, you can take steps to prevent them from taking over your life.

If you or someone you love is looking for a psychiatrist in Long Beach, don’t hesitate to reach out to our team. We can help you overcome fatigue by finding a customized treatment plan for renewal.


It’s the middle of the workday, and you can’t focus. Again. What will I say? You wonder. Will people like me? Will I make a fool of myself?

These thoughts can be so intrusive and disruptive. Lately, it seems like they are popping up more frequently just before the weekly team meeting or the post-work happy hour you’ve been invited to. While the fears or questions may vary, the reason is always the same: your social anxiety might be getting the best of you.

If you’re someone who experiences social anxiety, you know that it can be debilitating and make even the simplest tasks seem impossible. You may avoid all social situations or only go to a few that are “safe.” This means everyday activities like going to the grocery store can feel overwhelming and terrifying, let alone attending a party or small get-together.

If you’ve ever wished you could feel more calm and confident in social settings, check out these dos and don’ts from our bonmente team.

DO go out for cocktails with your colleagues.

DON'T drink to feel at ease.

It can be difficult to face your fears, but your anxiety and social life will improve if you put yourself out there and face your social anxiety head-on.

This may all sound counterintuitive, but you will eventually feel more at ease in social settings the more experience you get. You will not, however, feel more at ease the more you drink to dull your worries. Instead, you may end up feeling more anxious and isolated.

Whether it’s cocktails with your colleagues or a friend date to yoga, start saying yes to more invitations to do new things and saying no to unhelpful coping mechanisms.

DO counter your fears with positive self-talk.

DON'T compare yourself to others.

When you’re feeling anxious, it’s easy to fall into a negative thought spiral where you only focus on all the ways you think you’re not good enough. When everyone else seems to be carrying on just fine, and you feel alone or rejected, combat these negative thoughts by counteracting them with positive self-talk.

For example, if you’re thinking, “I’m so shy and boring, no one is ever going to want to talk to me,” try to counter that with “I am an interesting person, and I have a lot of great stories worth hearing.

DO get yourself out there.

DON'T hide behind your phone when you do.

In today’s world, hiding behind your phone when feeling anxious in social situations is too easy. But this will only make you feel more isolated and won’t help you build the confidence you need to face your fears.

So instead of using your phone as a crutch, put it away and focus on being present. Talk to the people around you, make eye contact, and engage in conversation.

Do reach out for professional support.

DON'T go it alone.

It can be difficult to open up about your social anxiety, but finding professional support can make all the difference.

Anxiety is a highly treatable mental illness,”
said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente.”With the right combination of therapy, medication, and lifestyle changes, patients can take control of their anxiety and lead better lives.”

If you’re unsure where to start, begin with an evaluation from our trusted team. We promise, getting a psychiatric evaluation is it not as scary as it sounds. 

You don’t have to push through the symptoms of social anxiety alone – let’s come up with a treatment plan just for you.



California has officially reopened! Those days we’ve been dreaming of, free breathing the air and carefree contact with friends and family, they’re finally here. We’re back to normal!

But why does it feel so…. weird?

Why does having your whole face exposed feel so awkward? Why does returning to normal have to come with this new sensation of “mask”xiety?

Remember back in the pre-Covid times when the most universally socially awkward thing we shared was what to do with our hands? Well, that’s back, and with it is this new worry: what do we do with our masks?

  • Wear it so people don’t think you’re some kind of selfish jerk?
  • Wear it because your kids haven’t been vaccinated yet and you want to keep them safe?
  • Keep it at the ready as a chin strap or an ear accessory until you read the room?
  • Ditch it and walk full-faced and proud into alllll the stores?

According to the CDC, “Fully vaccinated people can resume activities without wearing a mask or physically distancing, except where required by federal, state, local, tribal, or territorial laws, rules, and regulations, including local business and workplace guidance.”

So, we have permission and the blessing of science to enjoy the liberation of vaccination. But we still have a responsibility to follow the rules of local businesses and our workplace. These are tricky and stressful social situations to navigate, and we are very out of practice since we’ve been hanging out at home for over a year.

Awkward Moments Are ‘The New Normal’

One of our staff members shared a story with us about riding an elevator that was so relatable. When the elevator doors opened, she noticed the gentleman riding the elevator had his mask on, which left her scrambling through her bag searching for her mask.

She’s fully vaccinated and following CDC guidelines yet was still in a panic as she tried to find her mask as a courtesy. Where’s the guidebook on re-entry, CDC? Did anyone get a copy of the Post-Pandemic Manners Manual?

Guess what? No manual. We’re all flying blind.

So, let’s find the funny. 

We’re all out of practice with interacting with strangers. Our personal space has grown at least 6 times bigger than it used to be. We’re all relearning how to put makeup on the lower half of our faces, how to manage facial hair that used to be under cover, and how to smile as a gesture. We’re all bumbling through handshake/fist bump blunders.

We are all feeling stressed and awkward with our newly returned freedom to exist in the world. We are all figuring this out, day by day, interaction by interaction. So let’s be patient with one another and find the funny in it.

We made it! This is what we wanted, what we worked for. Let’s get our high fives tuned up and get them out of retirement.


Let’s be kind.

People are going to respond differently to re-opening, and just as we didn’t know their personal situations during the pandemic, we still don’t know them now.

Maybe they have a parent getting chemo and still have to be extra cautious. Maybe they have kids at home who aren’t eligible for vaccination yet. Maybe they can’t get vaccinated because of an allergy or other health problem. Maybe they’re terrified of vaccination and haven’t worked through that.

Some people may not be ready to unmask, for a variety of reasons, and that’s okay. Wearing a mask is absolutely not going to hurt anyone.

So, be kind if your friend wants to wear a mask at group gatherings that are outside. Show compassion if your family members opt out of gatherings and events for a while. A little understanding will go a long way in this awkward recovery.


We’ve all had a tough year, physically and emotionally,” said Jordan Blaine, a psychiatric nurse practitioner with bonmente. “The CDC has given a green light to vaccinated people, but how fast we jump back into society is a personal choice. Do what feels right, safe, and good for you.

Let’s be real. And get help when we need it.

Anxiety and depression have exploded during the pandemic. Even though “getting back to normal” sounds amazing, it may be as psychologically debilitating as Covid-19. If re-entering society has your skin crawling, you could need some extra help from the pros at bonmente

“The past year was full of trauma, uncertainty, and fear,” said Kayleigh Soto, a therapist at bonmente. “We have spent the past year alone or in small groups and now we’re expected to co-exist with others and be excited about it. It’s easy to see how reopening could trigger anxiety, but with the right treatment, you can get to the joy of it.”

There is no right or wrong way to handle re-entry, but it’s essential to go at your own pace and view challenges as opportunities to build resilience. If you need a little help with that, give bonmente a call.


bonmente offers comprehensive treatments and guidance to manage anxiety, depression, and all other mental health issues. Schedule an appointment ​with our mental health providers today.