Some things

​to think about

Treating ADHD The Ethical & Thorough Way

When you have ADHD, getting through the day can sometimes feel like you are wrestling a mythical beast. And if simple tasks disguised as Herculean feats weren’t enough to contend with, finding an ADHD treatment that works for you can leave you feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders. That’s because many medical professionals take an inflexible approach to treating ADHD that is NOT tailored to your individual symptoms or history.


You have special strengths and powers waiting to be unlocked by a treatment plan tailored to your needs.

At bonmente, we believe it’s time to move beyond ‘one size fits all’ solutions. We explore conscientious ways to treat ADHD through comprehensive assessments and tailored treatments the thorough and ethical way.

Mental Health Blog | ADHD Tips


Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a complex condition often linked to genetic factors. And while the exact origin may be unknown, proper diagnosis plays an integral role in safe and successful treatment. For this reason, it’s crucial to obtain an accurate evaluation from qualified providers who can understand your personal history and determine whether any other causes are potentially responsible for your symptoms.

During the assessment process at bonmente, we will gauge how long you have been dealing with symptoms such as inattention, hyperactivity, or impulsiveness, how much interference they cause in everyday life, and how best to target intervention with individualized strategies.


We understand the temptation to reach for stimulant medications when faced with an ADHD diagnosis. They work. But they can also lead to dependence, increased anxiety, and heart problems. Our top priority is your well-being. Instead of automatically handing out prescription drugs as a solution, we’ll take time to review your situation and consider more holistic approaches.

Our mission? To find what works best without compromising safety or putting you at risk.

So, in addition to lifestyle changes and routines such as a healthy diet, regular exercise, and stress management, we encourage our patients to explore options like therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), specifically, shows tremendous promise in helping ADHD patients restructure their thought processes to manage their symptoms better.

And while optimal treatment for ADHD is usually a combination of therapy and medications, holistic approaches like these can get to the root of troubling symptoms in a way that medications cannot.  By leveraging the power of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), patients can take steps to break free from a lifetime of self-critical thinking. CBT can help by replacing harmful cognitive distortions with healthier ones that pave the way for more positive emotions.

Bottom line: If you have been treated for ADHD before, we’ll thoroughly review your history, symptoms, and medical records to find what works … (and what doesn’t.)

Mental Health Blog | Treating ADHD


Living with ADHD can feel like you’re living in a never-ending obstacle course, sometimes exciting, sometimes scary, always a challenge. But with the right combination of treatments crafted just for you and your unique brain, you can harness your ADHD brilliance, unlock your special strengths, and build resilience. 

If you are seeking ADHD treatment in Long Beach, CA, contact bonmente today.


Many celebrities have spoken up about mental health struggles in the last few years (thank you Chrissy Teigen, Demi Lovato, Michael Phelps, and Lady Gaga!!), but if you’ve been tuned in the last week, you may have seen mental health has moved from a side show to the main stage.

On Saturday, Megan thee Stallion, known as the Hot Girl Coach and the H-Town Hottie, proudly strut a new title.

Miss Anxiety. 


The award-winning artist who inspired a season of self-confidence for women of all shapes, sizes, and colors went on national television and said out loud that she has body issues and anxiety. That she should get help. That she just wants to talk to somebody who gets her.


If that wasn’t enough to raise awareness of the impact of mental health issues, Taylor Swift followed it up in the wee hours this morning with an album that speaks to her eating disorder and depression.

In Anti-Hero, she perfectly describes the insomnia of depression that so many people wrestle with when she says:

Midnights become my afternoons
When my depression works the graveyard shift
All of the people I’ve ghosted stand there in the room

Between the two of them, these women have released more than a dozen albums, won nearly 50 Grammy awards, and endured the brutal scrutiny of the public eye for almost 20 years. 

Despite the social dissection of their entire being, they have generously offered up more vulnerability, invited us in to see who they really are, and shown us their innermost struggles. Most people can’t even do that with their own family members. 


These public journeys of healing do so much to eliminate the stigma surrounding mental illness and end the unnecessary suffering of those who resist seeking treatment. 

“Some people may not recognize their mental health struggles or may feel embarassed to acknowledge them,” said Mottsin Thomas, a psychiatrist at bonmente

“But when a celebrity or other admired person speaks about their challenges, it helps others feel seen, to find words for their own experience,  and hopefully to seek help.”

If these songs speak to you or if you want to talk to someone who gets you, give bonmente a call today. 


Anxiety is a master of disguise. The butterflies in your stomach before a big date. The knot in your throat during that intense meeting. Even that pep in your step as you walk with nervous excitement into a party. And now, thanks to the pandemic, the ever-present freak-out thoughts go everywhere with us too.

Is everyone vaccinated? Wearing a mask? Symptom free? Honest about it?

Social situations were tough to navigate before the pandemic, especially for people with anxiety. How many times have you hugged the wall at a social gathering and avoided eye contact at all costs? Maybe you settled down enough to engage in a chat only to have to run away mid-conversation? Throw a mask on and so much for deep breaths to calm yourself!

It’s okay. You’re not rude; you’re just anxious.

Be kind to yourself and know this:

1. Everyone experiences anxiety.
2. Social anxiety is real and the pandemic hasn’t made it easier. 
3. Your behaviors are likely coping mechanisms you’ve developed to manage anxiety.

Sure, avoiding people may give the impression of “being standoffish” or “stuck up,” but the reality is people with anxiety find communication and socialization almost paralyzing at times. To cope with anxiety, someone might cut a conversation short, avoid eye contact, or even fail to find words to carry on a conversation.

Anxiety can crush good manners.

When you live with anxiety, you’re all too familiar with the feeling of always being on edge. You might feel like you can’t relax. Every interaction is a potential minefield and you’re always one wrong move away from complete disaster. This can lead to some behaviors that others might see as rude or impolite, even for those who have the best manners and intentions.

As we’ve said many times before, mental health can be messy and complicated. By being open about what’s really going on, we can build more honest relationships and foster better understanding.

Rude or Anxious? Canceling plans to stay home

One of the most common things people with anxiety do that can come across as rude is canceling plans. You might feel comfortable socializing with one person, but plans involving more than that can cause your comfort levels to plummet and your anxiety to skyrocket. You may even cancel at the last minute because you don’t feel like you can handle being around other people. Anxiety is powerful… but so is honesty.

If you’re working on developing better anxiety management skills and are finding you’re canceling plans more than keeping them, let the host know from the beginning. Something like, “I’m looking forward to spending time with you, but if I have to cancel, please know I don’t mean to be rude. I’m working on managing my anxiety, but sometimes it gets so bad I can’t keep commitments.” Being honest takes away the uncertainty that could otherwise inform someone’s perspective of your behavior.

Rude or Anxious? Forgetting to reply

You don’t mean to “ghost” people, but you forget to reply… way too much. It’s usually because you’re so consumed with your thoughts that the outside world falls totally off your radar. You might be worried about an upcoming meeting at work or overthinking a fight you had with your partner, and next thing you know, it’s been two weeks and you get a “wtf” text.

Not replying to someone’s text or email can come across as being rude, but anxiety makes it easy to lose track of time or get so caught up in thought that you never respond. If “ghosting” has become a problem for you, try to identify a communication method that works best for you. Maybe texts get lost in the abyss but leaving emails “unread” helps remind you to respond. Maybe phone calls are a powerful enough interruption to snatch you from your own thoughts. Maybe you need to allocate 10 minutes each day to give some attention to replying – set an alarm, start the timer, and take care of what you can in that time.

Rude or Anxious? Leaving events early

Social anxiety can make you think about leaving before you even arrive. It doesn’t matter if it’s your grandma’s small get-together or the annual office holiday party, you might feel so overwhelmed and anxious that leaving is the only way to avoid a full-blown panic attack.


     In some cases, you’ve stressed so much about the event beforehand that you’re too exhausted or too nervous to try when the moment arrives,” said bonmente’Lorena Hernandez, LCSW. “Leaving is literally the easiest way out, but it’s not the best.”

Think about why you do the dip. Does the small talk wear you out? Is it just too hard to pay attention? Is the pressure to “perform” exhausting? Do you feel like all eyes aarre on you and being extra judgy? Figuring out why you’ve gotta get outta there is the first step in finding a way to stay. 

If you just can’t muster the mingle, give your early departure some grace and avoid the Irish goodbye.No need to make a big scene as you head out, but a quick text letting the host know you had to go takes away any tinge of rude that your absence may leave behind.

Rude or Anxious? Avoiding eye contact

Looking at another person directly in the eyes can be extremely unsettling for someone with anxiety. It can feel like full blown scrutiny or powerful judgment. Not to mention if someone is looking in your eyes, they can probably see your anxiety all over your face!

Eye contact has long been interpreted as a sign of interest or respect, which is why a lack of it can be considered rude. If eye contact turns you into stone, turn it into a game. Try quick glances at someone’s eyes while chatting and then look away. Or make your target their eyebrows or the top of their nose instead of the eyes. Or put attention on a different focus in the room, like a light fixture or a painting… or that really great TikTok you saw earlier today.

Rude or Anxious? Zoning out of conversations

To the person talking, zoning out can come across as a lack of regard for what they’re saying. We all know how active listening makes us feel heard, but anxiety can turn active listening into a preoccupation that discombobulates your attention. You spend all the time you should be listening worrying about what to say, then worrying that you may say something dumb. And if you manage to actually spit some words out, your brain immediately starts replaying the whole exchange, and you get so wrapped up in the cycle of fret that it’s impossible not to zone out. 

But zoning out isn’t a act of rudeness as much as it is a coping mechanism. By zoning out, you decrease stimulation and try to give your overwhelmed brain a break. If you get caught zoned out, just tune back in with a “Oh gosh, I lost my train of thought there. What did you just say?” Sometimes zoning out can be a symptom of ADHD, so if it’s happening all the time, consider a professional evaluation.

Less Stigma, More Support!

Every day can be a balancing act for someone with anxiety.  You’re always trying to do what’s best for yourself while also considering how your condition might affect others. The truth is your discomfort or desire to be at home alone has nothing to do with your kindness and good intentions.

Mental health issues like anxiety can make you want to run and hide, to keep your emotions to yourself. But you deserve to overcome anxiety and thrive. If you or someone you love is looking for anxiety treatment in Long Beach, CA, our team is on the line waiting to talk with you. It all starts with a phone call – make it today!



Why is it so hard to sit still during a meeting yet so easy to zone out? You misplaced your car keys three times last week. Your desk is a mess. It’s hard to remember the last time you were ‘on time’ for something. Most days it feels like you just can’t get it together.

Sound familiar?

You aren’t a hot mess, rude, lazy, uninterested, or inconsiderate. Ignore these unfair labels and let’s talk about what actually might be going on; you might have ADHD. All of these occurrences could actually be symptoms of ADHD so don’t beat yourself up! You don’t deserve that because it’s not you; it’s your brain and you are not alone! An estimated 10 million adults have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Unfortunately, less than 20 percent of them have been properly diagnosed, which complicates things.

ADHD Is Not Just For Kids

ADHD is often thought of as a childhood disorder because it is more common in children. If you think about it, it’s much easier for the concerned teacher to write a note about the fidgety, restless child in her classroom than it is for your boss to recognize your struggles.

And guess what?

All of those fidgety, restless children grow into adults with jobs, careers, and relationships that can get complicated when the symptoms are left untreated. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition that often goes unnoticed in adults yet can significantly impact all areas of life.

Symptoms of Untreated ADHD Include

  • restlessness or hyperactivity – demonstrated through talking or fidgeting excessively
  • impulsivity – acting without thinking of long-term consequences
  • inattention – difficulty staying focused
If you have ADHD, you may also:
  • misplace your things
  • lose your temper quickly
  • miss deadlines
  • struggle to follow instructions
  • feel scattered and struggle to stay organized
  • interrupt others who are talking

Awareness of the symptoms can help, but only to a certain extent. Those struggling to recognize ADHD signs can better understand whether they may have it by knowing some risks of untreated ADHD. Like other disorders, ADHD can manifest in various ways and spill over into all areas of your life. Here are a few risk factors of untreated ADHD worth mentioning…

Anxiety and Depression

Adults with ADHD are more likely to experience major psychological distress like severe anxiety and depression. Several things can ultimately trigger these feelings or lead to the development of these disorders. Low self-esteem, mood changes, and regular feelings of overwhelm can all play a part.

Difficulty Managing Stress

It’s easy for adults with ADHD to feel so overwhelmed about everything they must do that they resort to quitting to avoid the pressure. However, even those who are relatively organized or know where to start can still find it challenging to stick with the task because their minds may constantly wander.

Disorganization and Distraction

Adults with ADHD may find themselves working on various projects at once or procrastinating. Sometimes they inadvertently tune out important information, having trouble staying focused when communicating with others, such as their boss.


“Someone with ADHD may fail to meet deadlines because they are distracted by other things or lose track of time,” said Vides Apresto, a mental health nurse practitioner at bonmente. “If behaviors and symptoms go unaddressed, it can lead to serious consequences, including termination. That said, it is common for adults with ADHD to leave their workplace, as they may change jobs frequently due to their job dissatisfaction and overwhelming stress.”

Difficulty With Relationships

Because adults with ADHD tend to be easily distracted, it can also be hard to connect with others and maintain healthy relationships. Furthermore, spouses of individuals with ADHD typically feel more neglected and undervalued than spouses of those without the condition.

ADHD Screening at bonmente

We’re here to help get you some answers. ADHD is complicated – especially for adults! Getting the right diagnosis is important for getting the right treatment. Even though there is no definitive test for ADHD, with a thorough screening and professional consultation, bonmente’s qualified providers can help get you the correct diagnosis, so you can get the correct treatment.

Reach out to our Long Beach, CA-based psychiatry team today to book your $100 ADHD screening so you can step into the new year with clarity, focus, and a renewed wellness. 


How To Clear The Cobwebs




“What was I saying again?

Brain fog is all of those times you lost your train of thought or forgot about an appointment. It’s feeling spacy, groggy, forgetful…just not like your usual self. Brain fog can zap your motivation and creativity as the cobwebs continue to build up. You know that the lights are on upstairs, but it feels like no one is home most days.

What gives?!

Of course, living through a global pandemic does not help matters. At this point, the days seem to all blend together, and time feels like it’s waxing and waning. How are we almost three months away from 2022 already, yet it feels like we are still processing 2020?!

Even though brain fog is not a scientific term or proper medical diagnosis, it’s a nuisance and can impact how you feel. The good news is you can shake the cobwebs and emerge in clarity and better focus with these helpful tips.

Step 1: Slow Down!

The first thing to do if you are experiencing brain fog is to slow down. When you are feeling overwhelmed in any way, it’s best to take a step back and regroup.


Think about driving down the highway during a bad storm,” said Sarah Raike, PA-C, a mental health provider with bonmente. “In the middle of a downpour, it’s better to pull over and let things slow down instead of pushing forward when you can’t even see the road ahead.”

Step 2: Check on Your Physical Wellness 

Be sure you are getting proper sleep, nutrition, and hydration. Rinse, wash, and repeat! Poor diet and sleep habits can contribute to several health problems physically and mentally. The good news is there are actual ‘brain foods’ that can help keep your mind sharp. For example, the omega-3 fatty acids in fish keep your brain in top shape. If you have a sugar craving, reach for dark chocolate to help cut back on sugar which can spike your blood sugar and impact your mood.


Step 3: Stop Multitasking

On paper, multitasking sounds like a great way to get a lot of things done. In reality, multitasking often decreases productivity. If you are feeling overwhelmed and distracted, go back to step 1 and slow down! Once you are calm and some of the fog has lifted, break your bigger goal into small, more manageable tasks that you can complete. This approach will help boost your confidence and sense of accomplishment.

​Step 4: Put A Focus on Brain Health

Sometimes, brain fog is just a matter of shaking off the cobwebs and starting over. Other times, it’s a sign of something more. These days, it seems like we all experience brain fog from time to time. However, if you are having trouble focusing or completing tasks, it might be time for an evaluation. Adults with ADHD may have been undiagnosed when younger, only having symptoms later in life when something changed (i.e., going off to college, getting married, having children, etc.)

Adult ADHD patients also frequently have anxietydepression, or other issues that may or may not be related. If symptoms persist, don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Our team is here to walk with you.


Simone Biles, who stands just over 4 and a half feet tall, is perhaps the greatest gymnast the world will ever know. She has won 6 medals in the Olympics and 25 medals in the World Championships. She is performing stunts that historically have never been done by a woman, and she does so flawlessly.

She has been dubbed G.O.A.T., an honor bestowed to her by virtue of her skill and bravery. To date she truly is the greatest gymnast of all time.

But when she walked away from Olympic competition in order to focus on her mental health this week, she may have become the bravest human of all time.

With all eyes on her, every camera zoomed in on her face, an entire world watching her every move, Simone stood up and said, “I have to focus on my mental health and not jeopardize my health and well-being.”

She’d had a few hours of the jitters between her earlier practice and her warm ups. She’d been having some trouble getting sleep. And when it came time to perform, she gave it a shot.

But it wasn’t there. The mental focus it takes to pull off the feats of physics that made her famous, admired, and pressured to perform wasn’t there. It was like she could see the crack, and rather than force it, which could come at great physical cost (like quadriplegia… or death), she stopped. In doing so she not only kept the crack from getting bigger, she also became a new kind of champion.

A champion of mental health. 

It is SO HARD to speak up when mental illness decides to hijack your brain, your emotions, even your organs.

When you’re just sitting in a normal room doing normal things and your heart tries to beat out of your chest because anxiety is doing its dance in your body, it is SO HARD to say, “I’m having a massive panic attack and need to step away.”

When you’re going through the motions of life for the benefit of those around you but you’re internally exploring new depths of darkness because depression is settling in, it is SO HARD to say, “I need help. This is out of my control.”

Simone, in what is probably the most courageous thing she has ever done, did the hard thing. She, one of the best physical specimens walking the planet, told the whole world, “I am not okay.”

Put mental health first, ” said Simone Biles. “Because if you don’t, you’re not going to succeed as much as you want to.”

Simone has been open about her ADHD diagnosis and her experience with therapy, but this move, where she put mental health above all else – above the whole world – is more awe-inspiring than the moves she invented that now bear her name or that Yurchenko Double Pike she debuted this year. 

And it’s not just that she listened to her mind when her body was in the spotlight. It’s also her behavior after her decision to leave the competition. Knowing the cameras would be on her non-stop and people would be speculating, gossiping, and criticizing her decision, she still came back.

She came out with her head high, resolute in her choice. 

She stayed at the competition to cheer on her teammates, supporting them like a true sportswoman. She congratulated the winning athletes. She attended the press conference after and did interviews with reporters.

Mental health issues can make you want to run and hide, to keep your out-of-whackness to yourself, but Simone demonstrated that mental health is literally the most important thing in life and that it is okay to say “I’m not okay.”

What a win for the whole world.

bonmente offers comprehensive treatments and guidance to manage anxiety, depression, and all other mental health issues. Schedule an appointment with our mental health providers today.